I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
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