we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
