like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
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