I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
