idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
