He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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