Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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