So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
