So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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