I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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