He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
