hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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