people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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