She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
