i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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