I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
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