I cannot find my penis.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
