hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
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