my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
