So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
