We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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