the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
