exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
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I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
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I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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