I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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