I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
