do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
