Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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