is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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