She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
tonight lets celebrate not being married
it's great music for shaving your balls
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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