your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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