Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
