i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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