I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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