A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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