Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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