friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I love you. Go after that dick
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
