Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
