I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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