just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize