suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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