im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
