So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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