Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
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The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
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I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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