so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
