She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Randomize
