Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
