Pass out mid-funnel last night.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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