five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Randomize
