You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
