I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
