In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
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