i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
You ate ashes out of my bong
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