I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Drake has all the answers
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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