I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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