Sacagawea was the original milf.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
