Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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