Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
