you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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