I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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