you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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