I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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