just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
