Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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