Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
