i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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